An Open Letter to those with poor parking skills.
Alright, let’s just get this out-of-the-way. Why is their still people who park like this?
Hey, how long have cars been around? Almost a century, doesn’t matter how old you are, you aren’t the first automobile owner ever. How long have you been driving? Unless you started within the last week you really don’t have an excuse. So it’s not like this driving/parking thing is necessarily new to you, is it?
Take a look at this…
Now you probably thought you were being cute, sorry nobody you’re not. Take away the irony of your gigantic, non-compact, vehicle double-parked in the compact designated spots and you’re still a douche bag.
I see parking jobs like this an a whole variety of vehicles regardless of their size. But its the giant SUV drivers that get me every time. In cases like this you’ve got a humongous vehicle, that would feel right at home driving over rusted out Pintos, Festivas, and Metros in a Monster Truck event, and you’re parking it like you inadvertently gouged your eyes out with the gear shift on your way to your destination.
So…what’s your excuse.
“My car is just so big I can’t see around it”
Are you serious? So not only do you park like a moron you have the logic of one as well, bravo. If you’re vehicle is so big that you can’t park it properly…get a smaller vehicle.
“I’m in a hurry”
How long does it take to park a car? 30-seconds. If it’s taking you longer than that, you may want to ask for help, perhaps from a driving instructor. Even if I’m in a hurry I don’t find myself not having enough time to park in a single (keyword there) spot. I guess if your hands were missing, say your pet tiger felt like a snack while it lay in the back seat, it might take you longer but then if your hands are missing you might want to avoid driving altogether. Putting all that aside, if you’re in a hurry and that is what makes you park horrifically, maybe you should have, I don’t know. Given yourself more time! Is your life so hectic you can’t even muster the half-a-minute or less necessary to park properly.
“I just don’t care”
If you’re so entirely arrogant that these are the words uttered when someone points out your asshat parking job then perhaps you should reevaluate your importance in life. Cause, I don’t know if anyone’s shared this with you yet, you’re not this important. This one is probably going to be one of the rarest responses as it seems you must own a luxury sedan/overpriced sports car to gain this attitude and in these economic times you don’t see that very often.
So to those that park like Neanderthals, and you know who you are, stop lying to yourself. The first step is admitting you have a problem, the doors have been opened for you. Not by me, but by other sites, dedicated to the fine art of bad parking, here and here.
If you’re in a hurry, slow down or give yourself more time. If your vehicle’s too large, get more mirrors, a smaller car or a CDL driver as a chauffeur. If you just don’t care, start. If you refuse to admit there is a problem and take corrective actions, how about this. If you’ve just finished parking, get out and take a look at how you’re parked. If while looking at it you find yourself saying, “if I saw someone else park like this and it prevented me from being able to park in the spot next to them, I’d be furious.” Then get back in your vehicle and try again. We all make mistakes, but instead of ignoring it and hoping it’ll take care of itself, act like a human being and fix it.
That’s all for me, if you park like this and I’ve offended you…good, maybe it’ll be the push you need to make some changes. If you know someone who regularly parks like this print out some of the parking violations from here.